When did we stop thinking we had control of our life?
Take a moment to consider…
What things in your life do you control?
What things have you given to others to control?
Despite a fairly eclectic career that has included military service, the Commonwealth Games, APEC 2007, the World Masters Games and global learning and development companies, in 2017 I realised I was living the life I thought I should live – not necessarily the one that I wanted to live.
I had GREAT jobs, I travelled, I did what I was GOOD at, I was paid well, I LOVED my life. Well, I thought I did.
As we grow, we are often taught, through our experiences, our family and our friends, who we are to become. It starts early.
We are asked as a child, What do you want to be when we grow up? We say, astronaut, pilot, model, race car driver, actor, artist. As we get older and depending on our environment, our aspirations change to more traditional endeavours, teacher, doctor, nurse, accountant, lawyer, mother….roles that will provide security, stability. A career.
We lose perspective about what we want and need to fulfil our lives, not just the hours between 9 and 5 pm. We look at everyone else and think, I want that – not knowing that many living that life are slowly dying inside.
Unfortunately, it was not until I truly believed I had nothing left, that I reflected on my life, what I had and what I ‘lost’ that I realised, I had become an actor in my own story, and not a very good one at that!
I had chosen safe options and was searching for stability and a pay packet to reflect my experience and value. My job had become my passion, mostly because I was good at it, and it’s what I knew; as opposed to what I wanted to do.
Most of the decisions I made were made in consideration of others; or based on what other’s needed me to do. Rather than what I needed or wanted.
When I took the time to stop and consider what I was good at AND what I LOVED TO DO, I realised that despite following a fairly traditional, if not assorted path, I had developed the great skill of helping others gain clarity about their business, their programs, their sales strategies, their communications, and in some cases their life. And in fact, doing this type of work gave me purpose and this purpose gave me direction.
While considering my purpose and gaining clarity over the work I want to do; I found me and my genius! By taking back control, I CHOSE to become the playwright and the director of my life; not just an actor.
I speak to so many people who felt like I did. Who believe they don’t have the option, the choice to stop; to change their story. But we all have a choice. Every action we make is a choice.
Choosing not to choose is still a choice!
The difference between being an actor and playwright is choice. To start directing your own future, stop worrying about what you cannot control and start focusing on what you can… Your thoughts, your actions, your choices.
Start writing the future you want to see.